I have a guest blogger for today's story. His pen name: Lob Cockray.
Killing Him softly by Lob Cockray
As a pre-pubescent teen, Jesus got in an argument with three boys in His class regarding His ability to take a life of an animal by one silent gas-pass. After much prodding by the boys, Jesus lifted His left cheek, winked His right eye and smiled while a pig and a cow dropped dead outside His classroom window.
The boys were amazed. Their classmate Jesus just killed two animals with a flatulent.
Like the high majority of Jesus' acts, there was an alterior motive. Jesus was very hungry.
That day, Jesus took the pig and the cow home to the manger and invented His soon-to-be favorite dish: a beef-filled, cheese-covered, bacon-wrapped, tubular-shaped pork meal.
Unlike His earthly children, Jesus didnt't have to worry about poor-eating decisions. He could eat whatever he wanted. And he did.
For the next ten years, Jesus ate this 3,500-calorie meal every day -- sometimes taking seconds and thirds. He laughed at His mortal friends who were unable to do the same and still sustain a healthy lifestyle.
Here's where the story begins to read familiar to modern-day history classes. The population turned on Him. They formed an anti-Jesus group. They developed a death plan and carried it out.
One early Spring day, Jesus was killed. All for a hot dog.
The best hot dog ever. Even the Heavens couldn't replicate it.
How was this known? Jesus came back three days later. First meal? Hot dog. Filled with chili and cheese and covered with Thick-striped bacon.
Follow Jesus' steps with these simple directions:
- Chapter 1. Cook chili by following directions on 99 cent chili powder package
- Chapter 2. Cut an XL hot dog like a surgeon. Don't cut completely through it -- mortal sin.
- Chapter 3. Fill hot dog with chili and cheddar cheese (shredded)
- Chapter 4. Wrap hot dog with thick-striped bacon (4 to 5 pieces minimum)
- Chapter 5. Stick 4 to 8 toothpicks through hot dog
- Chapter 6: Cook on grill for 20 to 30 minutes rolling it on every side until bacon is very crisp
- Chapter 7: Serve on bun. Consider putting additional chili and cheese on top. Maybe even catsup or yellow mustard.
- Chapter 8: Eat it.
- Chapter 9. Repeat 24 hours later for ten years.
5 comments:
that sounds amazing and disgusting all at the same time.
I couldn't watch. My arteries clogged just looking at the ingrediencts lined up on the counter.
My guest blogger couldn't resist adding the story. The meal meant a lot to him. :)
That was a super good web log.
Wow, that's a story alright. I have never seen a hot dog eaten with such passion. Nice work Sara. :)
That is some kind of tale! Love the series. You really captured the joy found in clogging an artery! :)
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